A 1.7 GB MariaDB process looked like the obvious culprit. The real problem was a PHP script with no memory limit and a server with no swap.
If every mistyped URL returns your home page with a 200, search engines will index all of them as real pages — and split your ranking across the duplicates.
An hour lost to a two-megabyte upload limit that did not exist, because the value came from the wrong SAPI.
If your "publish at" check only runs when an admin loads the dashboard, then a post scheduled for 6 a.m. goes live whenever somebody happens to sign in.
No roundups, no “5 tools you must try.” Just the posts, when there is something worth sending.